Little Sister, love Simon
by startnowdobetter
Summary: What happens when Simon has some unanswered questions about the sister he would have had and Peter can't answer them? I think that this should have, or should happen at some point in the show. I think unless Carla and Peter get back together, this would be a perfect end to their relationship and a move forward in a developing friendship. Let's pray for a Carter reunion though!


_This began as a one shot between Peter and Simon, who talk about Carla, and the life that could have been, it ends with a scene that I think we all need._

 _I was going to put this in my collection of one shots, but thought it might be nicer if it was a story on it's own._

"What do you think then Si?" Peter asked his son, as he came and sat down next to his dad on the sofa, taking in the news that Peter had just told him: That Peter and Toyah were going to have a baby girl.

Simon smiled softly. "Do you ever think what it would have been like if Carla would have had the baby? You know, when you were together?" He said, being careful not to upset his Dad, he knew that he loved Carla, always had and probably always would.

"All the time, son." Peter admitted honestly, sighing. "She was a little girl too, you know?" He added, smiling.

"Yeah, I know. My Mum told me. " The teen told his Dad. "Did she have a name?" He asked, turning to face is Dad.

"I don't know." Peter said sadly, knowing that he had been an idiot for messing up with Carla in the first place. "I would love to talk to Carla about it but, to be honest, I know that losing her affected her really badly and I wouldn't want to put her through any painful memories."

"Sometimes talking about it helps." Simon offered, his words full of optimism. He wanted to know more.

"Why are you thinking about this Si?" Peter asked his son, wondering whether it played on Simon's mind as much as it did his.

"It's just, when everything was happening, you weren't there, and everyone was treating me like I didn't know what was going on, and that meant that they didn't tell me stuff. It's just always on my mind I guess." Simon admitted, looking down towards the floor.

"Why don't you have a word with Michelle about it, she knows more about it than I do." Peter suggested, placing his hand on Simon's lap comfortingly.

"Can't I just text Carla, go around and see her?" Simon asked, knowing that his Dad always knew what to do when it came to Carla. He was the only person, aside from Michelle and Rob that really understood her.

"Why don't you get a jacket, and we can speak to her now." Peter said, looking at the clock on his phone, making sure that Carla had finished work.

"Hang on." Carla said, making her way over to the door just seconds after it had knocked. "Oh hi." She greeted the boys as she answered the door. "Come in." Carla said, opening the door a little wider and allowing Simon and Peter to follow her into her flat.

"So, I hope you've not been getting into too much trouble, mister." Carla told Simon jokingly.

"No, of course not!" Simon smiled.

"We've actually come to ask you some things." Peter interrupted.

"Oh yeah, like what?" Carla asked, going into the kitchen. "Brew?" She offered.

"We're good ta." Peter told her as she flicked the kettle on.

"I wanted to ask you about the baby." Simon asked Carla, stopping her in the tracks. There was a long pause. Carla knew exactly what Simon meant. She wanted to pour her heart out to Peter when he came to the hospital when she had first lost her baby, but she knew that she wasn't ready emotionally then, and that she was a little more ready to talk now. "OK." Carla smiled softly. "Do you want to go into the living room?" She asked the pair, who had followed her into the kitchen. She hadn't ever spoken in length about the child that she and Peter would have shared, which is something that she thought would have helped her to make things a little easier. She knew that she couldn't speak to Michelle, not after all this time, and especially after she herself lost Ruairi, her loss appeared so much greater in comparison. Carla didn't want to speak to Rob about it, not at the time anyway, it was just too painful. She would give anything to just have a conversation at length with her brother, which she knew wouldn't happen.

Simon and Peter went to go and take a seat on the sofa, whilst Carla brought her coffee with her only a minute later.

Simon watched intently as after Carla had put her mug on the table, she pulled out a box from underneath it. "This might give you some answers." Carla told him, as she placed the box next to where she sat on the sofa opposite the father and son. "What is it?" Simon asked, as Carla faced them both. "It's a box, filled with all of the things that were hers." Carla explained, placing the box gently on her lap.

It was a white box, with light pink stripes. It was fairly big, which broke Peter's heart. He knew how much that Carla wanted to be a Mum, no matter how many times she had convinced herself otherwise. This, to him, proved what a brilliant Mum she could have been. It seemed she was all ready to give up the life she had to share it being a family.

Carla carefully took the lid off the box before placing it on the table. Simon investigated it, studying the items that were in front of him. "What would you like to know?" Carla asked him, then looking at Peter, who she figured would have some questions of his own, seeing how he wasn't their all the time. "Everything." Simon replied looking up at Carla, not knowing where to start. "Ok, everything." Carla sighed, taking herself back to early 2014.

"I found out that I was pregnant in March." Carla smiled. "It took me three weeks to tell your Dad." She added. "Why?" Simon interrupted. "Because I didn't know what I wanted." Carla admitted. "What, so you kept it to yourself?" Simon asked. "Michelle knew." She replied. "She was with me when I did the test." She added. "Anyway, I told your Dad, after I'd had a massive go at him." Carla smiled. "Why were you arguing?" Simon asked, not knowing whether it was any of his business. "Because I wasn't there." Peter told him. "She'd been trying to get me to sit down and talk, but it didn't happen." He added, looking at Carla, regret filled his eyes. "After I told him, we had a long chat and we decided that it was what we both wanted." Carla said, smiling at the memories that she assumed would have faded by now. "Why wouldn't you want a baby? You were happy, married and it wasn't like you were arguing all the time." Simon asked, knowing himself that Carla would have been a great Mum. "Well, it's not like we were young, was it? And did you really see me as a Mum?" Carla asked him, as if the answer was obviously no. "Yeah, I mean, you were my step mum." Simon answered. "Well, we didn't always get along did we." Carla explained. "Anyway," Carla began changing the subject. "I had my first scan in May, May the 12th." She smiled weakly, knowing that that was the first and one of the only times she had got to see her daughter. "Did it feel weird?" Simon asked her. "It was so weird. It was a completely new experience for me and I was so scared." She replied. "But as soon as I saw her on the screen, I knew that I needed to stay strong, for someone other than myself. I had someone else to take care of and letting her down scared me more than anything in the world. Seeing her made it so much more real than I could have ever imagined. I was so happy, right there and then. All the worry I had felt, all the time I had spent worrying whether I could be a Mum, it all went away in an instant because I knew that whatever happened next, my life would change. I would be someone's Mum, whether I liked it, or not." She added, a hint of sadness filled her voice, the hope of her and Peter being a family was well and truly gone, with no way of getting back what they had, not that she would want to. Carla reached into the box, and retrieved the picture she received after the scan, passing in to Simon, giving him a chance to look at the sister that he would have had. Simon stared at what he was given intently, not saying a word. "Are you OK son?" Peter asked, putting an arm around his boy, wondering whether he should have let Simon come around. Dragging up the past had always been something that seemed to be pointless, but maybe by letting Simon find out more about everything that had gone on all those years ago might allow him to put some ghosts to rest.

"Why?" Simon asked after a long pause. "Why what, Si?" Carla asked, unsure of what the young lad meant. "Why did you lose her? She looks so safe, peaceful. Why did she die?" He asked, his voice soft and full of sorrow. He knew that this was going to be one of the hardest questions that Carla would have to answer, but he felt he needed to know. "Officially, I lost her due to stress. It was too much for her to cope with." Carla said, staring down at the box. "I don't blame her." Carla said, looking up at the boys. She had tears in her eyes and Peter's heart sank. He hated seeing her in pain, especially after its primary cause was him. "I often think what she would have been like. She would have been three and a half soon. Walking, talking, causing mischief. One thing was for sure though." Carla said picking up a teddy bear that was in the box. "I would have loved her more than the world." She said, holding the bear close to her. "I remember when you showed me that teddy bear." Peter smiled. Carla smiled gently, a tear rolling down her cheek, before she quickly wiped it away. "You said that you couldn't believe that you bought it." He smiled. "And that she was going to save us." He continued, watching Carla's face drop. "She could have." Carla replied, her voice tear stained and exhausted. "I'm so sor..." Peter began. "Don't." Carla interjected. We don't know what would have happened if you didn't have the affair. I could have lost her anyway, I probably would have, saying sorry is pointless." She added. "What do you mean, you probably would have lost her anyway?" Simon asked, looking up to face his former stepmother. "It doesn't matter." Carla said, sitting up in an attempt to regain composure. "Please..." Simon begged. "I came here for answers." He told her. Carla took a deep breath. "I never wanted children, and when I found out that I was pregnant, I freaked out. I think that if I had wanted children bad enough, I would have, but I didn't, so I don't." She answered. "Don't think like that." Peter told her, catching her gaze. "You would have been a brilliant Mum. I know how much you did want a baby, how much you would have loved her. I don't really believe that you never wanted children." Peter told her.

"Did she have a name?" Simon asked, with Carla placing the bear back in the box. "No." Carla replied. "That's something you only get to go if you have a baby, and well, I didn't. Anyway, I always felt that was something that a couple should do together. Me and your Dad, we didn't talk about it." Carla told him. "A while back, in Devon, I had a think about a name, but I couldn't give her one. Not officially anyway. I thought of middle names and I thought that they would be Hayley Susan." She replied, watching Peter's face light up slightly. "Really?" Peter asked, as if he had misheard what his ex-wife was telling him. "Yeah," She replied as if the decision was obvious. "She was half you, half me. I thought that it would have been nice if we had a tribute to loved ones that we had both lost in our little girl's name. But we never made it that far, naming her." She sighed.

After a conversation that lasted over an hour, with high running emotions and all the answers that Simon wanted being given to him, Simon and Peter had left Carla's flat. She placed the memory box back under the coffee table in her living room, and made her way into the bathroom, pulling out a small rectangular box from the cabinet. Carla had been seeing a man for a little while now, and had kept it quiet from most people, apart from Michelle.

After waiting for the allotted time, Carla flipped the test over to reveal a result that could change her life. Carla sighed, sitting on the edge of the bath, before getting out her phone and ringing someone. "Hi Nick, it's me. Can you come over to mine... yeah, it's urgent."

"So, what's up?" Nick asked Carla, as she sat on the sofa, after letting him into her flat. Carla handed him the pregnancy test. "Looks like we can both be parents after all."


End file.
